Doki Doki Literature Club 2: The Revengeance
by mistermudkip74
Summary: monika and her friends go to get the golden noose for sayori
1. Chapter 1

It was a particularly boring day, and Monika was waiting for her husband Bill Clinton to return from his speech (with the money from Wall Street he got for doing it) when she heard a faint sizzling sound. Before she could realize what it was, she was knocked back by a large explosion. Once the dust had settled, she saw a huge hole in her wall, and Yuri. "Do you.. have a knife.. for my sandwich?" asked Yuri, holding up her salami and pineapple sandwich. Monika sighed. "You were never the same after you somehow came back to life 10 years ago. I think part of your brain came out when they did that black magic spell." said Monika as she got a knife out of the drawer. She gave it to Yuri, and Yuri cut the sandwich into 1,000 pieces. "Can I.. keep the knife?" said Yuri. "I.. like knives!" Knowing what happened before, Monika took the knife from her, and Yuri wolfed down the sandwich pieces. After Monika put the knife away, (and Yuri-proofed the drawer) another person walked through the huge hole in her wall. "I HAVE A DOOR YOU KNOW!" screamed Monika. It was Sayori, holding a very shiny object. "HEY, LOOK WHAT I GOT!" exclaimed Sayori. "It's... a golden noose?" said Monika. "I just got it in the mail today! It cost me like a billion dollars!" said Sayori. While she was busy blabbering about her new noose, Yuri swiped it, put it between 2 slices of bread and ate it in one bite. "And to be extra safe, I got a.." Sayori looked at her hand. "warranty." Sayori burst into tears and cried out "WHERE DID IT GOOOO?!" Yuri looked at her and said "I ate it.." Monika was furious. "YURI! YOU APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!" screamed Monika. Yuri whimpered like a dog and said she was sorry. "Good thing I got the warranty, I guess.." said Sayori. "BUT! For some reason this warranty is very specific. To get a new one in case of damage, you must travel to the highest mountain in Chextonia, defeat the 4 monsters, and reach the Noosemaster at the peak." Sayori sighed. "I guess we should get going.." They put on their coats and went to go get Natsuki. They knocked on her door, and a big, chubby man answered. It was Natsuki's dad. "IF THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THEM JAH-HOO-VUH S WITNESSES, I SWEAR I M GUNNA-" boomed Natsuki's dad. "We're.. looking for Natsuki!" interrupted Yuri. "WHAT DO YOO WANT WITH THAT SISSY DAUGHTER OF MINE?"growled Natsuki's dad. Everyone was too scared to respond, except Yuri. "We're going on... an adventure.." said Yuri. Suddenly Natsuki's dad became really cheerful. "Oh, why didn't you just say so?" said Natsuki's dad. "PUMPKIN! YOUR FRIENDS WANT YOU!" he yelled. "Coming daddy!" said Natsuki. Natsuki came down the stairs and joined her friends. On the way to the airport, Sayori asked Natsuki a question. "You're 28 years old, why are you still living with your parents?" Natsuki turned red. "Aw c'mon Sayori, there's no need to call her out on her lifestyle!" said Monika. "You're one to talk," sneered Sayori. "You've been gettin real friendly with that Main Character guy for over a year now!" Monika turned red as well. "H-HEY! BILL'S OK WITH IT!" yelled Monika. "BESIDES, THIS IS AN E FOR EVERYONE STORY"! They got to the airport, and boarded their plane surprisingly fast by current airplane security standards.


	2. Chapter 2

When they landed in Chextonia and left the airport, they were showered with Chex Mix, as per tradition for new visitors to Chextonia. A spaceman made out of Chex stepped towards them. "Welcome to our country, ladies. We have heard much about your adventure." said the Chex Warrior from Chex Quest. "You mean the one where we all died?" said Monika. "No, the other one." said the Chex Warrior. "The wet t-shirt one?" said Natsuki. "Yeah, that one. You were really cute in that." said the Chex Warrior. Natsuki screamed and took a bite out of his Chex arm. The Chex Warrior chuckled. "Normally we would throw someone who did that in jail. But, since you're celebrities, you get off Scot-free." Monika was looking around, admiring the Chex structures when she remembered why they came there. "Mr. Chex Warrior, we're looking from the Noosemaster. Could you point us in his direction?" asked Monika. "Of course, o murderous one." replied the Chex Warrior. He pointed that way. What way is that way is up to you. "But I must warn you, the journey up is very tre-" Monika covered his mouth. "We're well aware, thank you." she interrupted.

Monika and her friends head off towards the mountain. When they got to the base of the mountain, they found a sign. "Trail up, left. Convenient elevator, right, $7.99." read Monika. "Anybody got 10 dollars?" The girls checked their pockets, but came up empty. Monika sighed. "I guess this story would be too short if we just used an elevator.." said Monika. They started hiking up the mountain. Everything was going quite smoothly until they heard a rip about a quarter way up. "H-Hey! I'm stuck!" yelled Natsuki. Monika walked to her, then turned red once she saw the problem. "Um.. Natsuki? Your skirt is… stuck." whispered Monika. "W-WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE, YOU IDIOT! DO SOMETHING!" yelled Natsuki. Monika blushed more. "Erm.. It's in there too deep to pull it out." said Monika. Sayori snickered at the unintentional innuendo. "You're.. gonna have to take it off.." said Monika. Natsuki turned red. "I-I CAN'T DO THAT WITH YOU ALL WITH ME!" yelled Natsuki. "We.. don't have any other option.." said Monika. "Maybe.. if we… think of something.. she won't… have too!" said Yuri. She pulled out a banana and Spam sandwich for "brain" food. After 15 minutes, she finally came up with an idea. "Why don't we… all take off our… skirts? That way.. she won't.. feel weird." said Yuri. Sayori nodded in agreement. "If I get a better view of Monika's big, round a-" Monika cut Sayori off. "WE'RE NOT DOING THAT!" she yelled. "Natsuki, we have no other _REASONABLE_ option. Don't worry, we won't laugh!" said Monika. "RIGHT SAYORI?" Sayori chuckled. "I'm not gonna promise that." Natsuki sighed, and took off her skirt. Sayori stared at her and said "Cute panties." Natsuki turned red. 2 hours later, they were stopped by a ginormous monster.


	3. Chapter 3

When we last left our "heroes", they were busy being stopped by a huge monster. Who is this monster, you're probably not asking? Well, it's none other than Boss from Hamtaro, who had somehow grown 50 feet. "Really?" said Monika. "Boss? Who wrote this garbage?" Boss growled. "So.. you've come to challenge me." he boomed. "WELL, PREPARE TO- Is that Monika?" Boss squealed in delight. "I LOVE YOUR GAME! Your wet t-shirt TV special wasn't too bad either!" said Boss. Suddenly, Sayori let out a war cry. She ran to him and bit his obnoxiously large ankle. Boss yelped. "I DON'T REMEMBER YOU BEING THIS VIOLENT!" he cried out. Monika pried her off him. "Err.. some of my friends had a drastic personality change when I went to that place to bring them back to life." said Monika. Sayori scoffed and said "That's what happens when you go to Shinji & Asuka's Sub par Clinic for Black Magic! They couldn't make a good show, and they couldn't-" Monika cut her off again. "We already angered the DDLC fanbase, let's not drag NGE fans into this." said Monika. "Anyways, I'm just gonna let you guys pass." said Boss. "Cute panties, Natsuki." Natsuki turned red.

After probably 15 minutes, they came across the next challenger. It was again, another stupid crossover character, this time it was talk show host Space Ghost. Monika sighed. "This story keeps getting dumber and dumber. Who's next, Tim Allen?" mumbled Monika. "Greetings citizens! I'm Space Ghost! Welcome to my boss battle." said Space Ghost. "Tonight's (or today's, whenever you're reading this) special guests are... Moltar do you have any idea who these ladies are?" Moltar, who had somehow set up a fully functional computer without any power supply, shrugged. "What about you, Zorak?" asked Space Ghost. Zorak was a pile of ashes. "Does anybody know who these ladies are?" yelled Space Ghost. "Ooh, I know! They're from Heart Pounding Book League!" cried out Brak. "Well, characters from said game,  
PREPARE TO BE VANQUISHED!" said Space Ghost. He took to the sky & fired a laser beam and missed. "My aim hasn't been too good since I was taken off the air. Well no matter! Eat expensive and priceless memorabilia!" said Space Ghost. Space Ghost threw busts of Chester A. Arthur, Grover Cleveland, Jimmy Carter, Dan Quayle & Grover Cleveland. Yuri ate all of them. "Boo! Potatoe.. flavored!" said Yuri. She spit the Dan Quayle bust at Space Ghost, knocking him out of the sky. Space Ghost hit the ground with a loud thud. "That's.. our show for tonight.." groaned Space Ghost. Seconds later, he stopped moving. "I think he's dead.." said Natsuki.  
"He's dead to me!" said Mike Lazzo. The girls (and Moltar) walked away slowly. After another 15 minutes, they came to the final challenger.


	4. Chapter 4

When we last left Monika and her friends, they were being stopped by yet another monster. This time, it was the actor who played Michael Cromwell in Jungle 2 Jungle. Natsuki was confused. "Why are we fighting Tim Al-" She couldn't finish that sentence due to content guidelines. The voice of Buzz Lightyear let out a mighty AEUGH and started throwing wrenches at them. They dodged all of them. Monika laughed. "Is that all you got?"Santa Claus in The Santa Clause shook his head. "To infinity and beyond!" he said. A laser cannon came out of his wrist. He fired at Sayori and Natsuki, knocking them out. He aimed the laser at Monika. Monika quickly pulled out a knife that she somehow had, and threw it to Yuri. "Yuri! Deus ex Machina!" she yelled. Yuri grabbed the knife and started swinging it around like a madman. She sliced off part of his hair, and since I don't really want to kill this particular comedian, he surrendered.  
"Well… that was… a letdown.. Pretty... short too.." said Yuri. Conveniently, at the same time, Sayori and Natsuki woke up.

They continued up the mountain and finally reached the Noosemaster. The Noosemaster simply said "Cute panties, Natsuki." and gave Sayori a new golden noose. The girls returned to I guess Japan and had chicken nuggets.

The End


End file.
